The Third Entity – Also known as the “R” word .. RELATIONSHIP!
One mental and contextual tool that can help guide us to “right doing” in our relationships, especially those of the marital or romantic nature, is to view that relationship as a living, breathing entity all its’ own, a “third entity” if you will. An entity that you and your partner are responsible for, much like an infant or child.
When we can fully embrace this frame of view, we realize that some things that the man or woman might want individually, are not good for the relationship. Winning an argument when you KNOW you’re right might feel good to you, but it introduces the forbidden concept of competition into your relationship, which can destroy a relationship. (there is no room for competition in any male female relationship. If you have not fully embraced this notion, see my post “competition in relationships”)
Here’s a great example; Every man wants to have 2 women at the same time, right? (if your answer is no, you have either had 3 or more women at once OR you’re currently having 2 women at once while reading this). Is this good for you? YES!! Is it good for her? Maybe. Is it good for your “third entity”? The most probable answer is no. Group sex normally puts a huge strain on a relationship due simply to our ingrained belief that sex is something that we share only with our spouse or signifigant other and that when you or your have sex with someone else, the possibility exists that you or your partner may find them more attractive. Not a good recipe for success.
The third entity also has a checkbook just like you and your S.O. (signifigant other). You both make deposits and withdrawals just like a regular checkbook. The key, of course, and really the ONLY important thing to remember is that you MUST make more deposits than withdrawals! If you remember this one key, your relationship will be ok. Simple though sometimes difficult.