What is feminized behavior in a man? It’s often misunderstood to mean “feminine” behavior but there’s a distinct difference. My personal definition of feminized behavior is any “thought, word or action implemented by a man in a style usually displayed by a woman”. Basically, it means that a man is making decisions from the feminine viewpoint. More “feelings based” vs. “values based” Below is a list contributed by many men, as well as some from my own observation. Some common root behaviors are “apologizing” for who we are as men, arguing or competing with our women, being needy, and compromising yourself to please others.
Incidentally, there’s nothing wrong with some feminized behavior. As men however, feminized behavior that we are unaware of hurts us and hurts those around us. It moves us away from our power. Choiceful feminine behavior can serve us – I heard a man once say that leadership itself is feminine, and after some thought, I agree. But feminine rooted behavior that comes out of unawareness or ignorance is way ‘unhelpful’ for a man. It’s the opposite of focused, predictable “rock-like” behavior that women need to counter their vast multi-directional feminine essence.
Most men and most women have learned feminine roles thoroughly. Women do engage in a lot of masculine practices. Women don’t seem to have any problem integrating both roles without thought.
But men who don’t learn masculine behaviors thoroughly (and these are not taught in school) and who engage unthinking in feminine behavior are but pale shadows of who they could be as men. Current society and culture elevates feminine roles and values and deliberately diminishes masculine roles and values. Young people educated in today’s society are clueless about masculine behaviors. Boys must learn how to become men before they can start to become fully vitalized human beings.
So have a good laugh, don’t take yourself too seriously: Light a cigar, grab a hustler, give the boys a good scratch, settle down into your “Lazy Bastard” and let’s read!
You may be feminized if . . .
(collected wisdom from many men – send us more)
- You wear “distressed jeans”
- Your wife or girlfriend has ever said ‘whatever happened to the man I met??’
- You think that you’re not feminized
- You find yourself thinking often ‘maybe she’s right’
- You argue with your woman
- You ‘win’ that argument
- You struggle with decisions
- You ever said ‘I know this is politically incorrect but’
- You feel you have to take someone on
- You answer the phone every time it rings
- You don’t have a place on this planet (a den, cave, sanctum sanctorum) that is absolute, inviolate, and your own, and she knows it and honors it
- You want sex more than she wants it
- You don’t trust your woman or she doesn’t trust you
- You find this web site or article “offensive” (for that matter, if you’ve ever thought or felt “I find that offensive” about anything)
- You feel that you understand women
- You’re afraid of being taken advantage of
- You have trouble listening
- You do things that trouble you to please others
- You have a chip on your shoulder about certain things
- You think men should unite and stand up for their rights
- You think you should discuss your feelings with your woman
- You ever said ‘a real man would’ …
- You find yourself defending yourself
- Your words say more than your actions
- You reveal more by what you say than by what you don’t say
- You answer yes/no questions with something other than yes or no
- You live alone and have more than 1 bottle (unscented) in the shower
- You live with a woman and have ANY bottles in the shower
- You don’t cooperate with your woman
- People wonder where you stand as a man
- You try to ‘help’ a relationship
- You need to buy cologne more than once every two years
- Your best friend is a woman (Or…you think it’s actually possible to have a friend who’s a woman)
- You blanch at the thought of cleaning a fish
- You think men are violent
- You have guilt or shame you can’t do anything about
- Voice mail systems cut you off before you finish recording your message
- You have only a few (or no) male friends
- You can’t or won’t help people you don’t like
- You feel uncomfortable eating in a parking lot
- You spend 1 minute or more in front of the mirror exclusive of shaving in the morning
- If you have a comb at all, it gets used more than twice a day
- Your socks always match
- You think ritalin should be used more widely
- You think your balls are all the masculine credentials you need or want
- You experience a lot of doubt or indecision
- You bust butt to save a few bucks – instead of just earning more
- You always stifle belches and farts
- You enjoy shopping rather than surgical mall strike missions
- Your negotiations in business are a zero sum game
- There is nothing you would die to protect, including 1 or 2 of your own ideals
- You’re unable to live up to principles that you try to hold others to
- You try to give your woman what she says will make her happy
- On important matters, you get advice from lots of people
- You ignore advice that you paid for
- You try to hold anyone other than yourself accountable
- You have great, intimate conversations with women whom you don’t intend to take home
- You wonder what you should do if a woman is abusive to you
- You feel you communicate well verbally with women
- If you think women, more than men, are a force for good in our society
- You recoil at the thought of being called a jerk
- If you don’t know the difference between a fuel injector and a muzzle brake