Before any man gets hitched, ties the knot and settles down, there are a few things and man should be, do or have before he does so. These “pre requisites”, in various forms, can be found throughout the earliest societies on earth.
1. Be an island unto yourself
This means basically to be able to be independent in all important areas, such as financially, emotionally and even sexually. Stated the opposite way, “do not “NEED” your woman in any way”. This does not ELIMINATE the possibility of having a wife who works while you stay home with the children and other similar arrangements, but again, it’s more of a “where are you at” situation. If you’re feeling resentful or competitive with your “financially superior” wife, then you are NOT and island unto yourself. This is really about “needs” and “neediness”.
2.Be clear about the reasons you are getting married.
There are really only TWO reasons for a MAN to get married. These are the only reasons that are not “fear based” or “needy”, like being alone, companionship, etc. They are “To be a mother to your children”, and “The unconditional acceptance and love of a woman”. The first is pretty simple. You need someone to raise your children, nurture them, be an expert at the art of “relationship”, which you are not. The second is a bit more esoteric, but just as powerful. When you have a woman by your side who adores and worships you, it gives you strength and power and desire to be MORE. The best marriages I’ve seen have partners who make each other want to be better husbands and wives. This is the concept here. When a woman treats his man with respect and gushes over him and adores him and makes him feel like a million bucks waiting for change, he’ll want to go out and MAKE a million bucks and not even wait for the change!!! Treating a man like he’s always coming up a little short usually leads to a man who does just that. Comes up a little short. Why try harder with a woman you can’t please? I’ve had both situations and I’m with a woman now who worships the ground I walk on and I gotta tell you, I can’t be stopped!!
3. Know what you’re getting into!
Does this woman fit in with who you are as a man? Is it actually going to IMPROVE your life? Are you compromising anything about yourself to get into the marriage? It should be BETTER to be in the marriage than NOT be in the marriage. Will this woman surrender and trust you or will she fight you every inch of the way? Do you find yourself “explaining” or “defending” her alot? I know a musician friend of mine who has a whole litany and story about the reasons his wife is so miserable. It’s amazing, and you know right away it’s not the first time he’s recited it. He’s also a GREAT man for doing this, now that he’s married and has 2 little boys. He’s surrendered to the situation he’s in and he’s committed. KNOW who you are and the kind of woman you want to be with. Don’t get side tracked by great sex or movie star looks.