Something is Happening

This article is by Bob Parson’s, founder of GoDaddy.com - Everything here “corrolates” to the Law of Attraction as well as other spiritual principles.

I liked Clint Eastwood’s rules.
Also at that time, I happened to pick up a copy of Men’s Journal. Clint Eastwood was on the cover and an article featured 10 items called “Clint’s rules.” I found his rules to be interesting. They were things like, “You are what you drive,” “avoid extreme makeovers,” and things like that. As Clint Eastwood is a pretty easy guy to respect, I thought the whole rule thing was pretty cool. And the more I thought about it, I realized that over the years I had accumulated a number of principles (or rules) that I tried very hard to adhere to — and these rules (in many ways) have become the foundation for whatever successes I’ve had.

So, a few weeks before the meeting, I sat down and started typing — in no particular order — the rules I try to live by. At the breakfast meeting, I read my rules at the end of my presentation. The response was amazing. I was swamped with requests for copies of the rules. An edited list was published in the Arizona Republic newspaper a few days later. I was even called and interviewed by a local radio station about the list.

Since then, some of the rules have been edited, some consolidated, and a few new ones added. Despite those changes, the list of rules I presented that morning are pretty much what appears at the end of this post.

My rules come from the significant life events I’ve experienced.
As I write this, I am now 54 years old, and during my life thus far I suspect that I’ve encountered more significant life events than most people ever dream about. Here’s some information about me:

I grew up in a lower middle class family in Baltimore’s inner city. We were always broke. I’ve earned everything I ever received. Very little was ever given to me.

I’ve been working as long as I can remember. Whether it was delivering or selling newspapers, pumping gas, working in construction or in a factory, I’ve always been making my own money.

And, of course, not all life events are happy ones.
I was stood up to be executed during a robbery of a gas station where I was working when I was 16. To my amazement, my would-be executioner could not muster the nerve to pull the trigger. This saved both of us. I lived, and while he went to jail, he did not go there forever. Even though there were other witnesses to the gas station robbery and assault, and other crimes he and a partner committed, I was the only one who testified against them. They both received major jail sentences.

I was with a United States Marine Corps rifle company in Viet Nam for a short while in 1969. As a combat rifleman, I learned several key life lessons that resulted in some of the rules I try to live by. I learned first hand how significant a role “luck” or karma can play in our lives. The rifle company I was assigned to, Delta Company of the 1st Batallion, 26th Marines, operated in the rice paddys of Quang Nam province. We operated on the squad level (7 to 10 of us, depending on casualties), and most every night we left our command post and went several kilometers out into the rice paddys and set up in ambush. While there are many who saw significantly more combat action than me, I did see my share. After 5 or 6 weeks, I was wounded and medevaced to Japan. I returned to Viet Nam several times after that, but came back as a courier of classified documents. Although I requested (at least twice) to return to my old rifle company, the transfer was never approved.

After the Marine Corps, I used the G.I. Bill to attend college, and graduated from the University of Baltimore with a degree in accounting. I attended college mostly at night. After college, I took and passed the CPA exam. I worked only a few years as an accountant. The lion’s share of my career has been spent as an entrepreneur.

I’ve been very lucky when it comes to business.
I started a successful business division for a company called LeaseAmerica. During the four years I was involved with this business, it grew to 84 employees and wrote over $150 million dollars in small office equipment leases. Its success helped redefine how business in that industry is now conducted.

Not long after I started the division for LeaseAmerica, I started a software company in the basement of my house. I started it with the little bit of money I had, and named it Parsons Technology. I owned this business for 10 years, grew it to about 1,000 employees and just shy of $100 million a year in sales. Eventually, we sold Parsons Technology to a company named Intuit. Because my then-wife and I were the only investors, and the company had no debt, we received the entire purchase price.

Shortly after selling Parsons Technology, my wife and I decided to go our separate ways and did the customary “divide everything by two.” I then moved to Arizona and retired for a year. This was a requirement of my deal with Intuit.

Retirement was not for me.
Retirement wasn’t for me, so after the mandatory year passed, and using the money I had from the sale of Parsons Technology, I started a new business. This business eventually became The Go Daddy Group. I started this business from scratch, did it without acquisitions, and developed our own products. In the process, I came spooky close to losing everything I had, and actually made the decision to “lose it all” rather than close Go Daddy. Today, Go Daddy is the world leader in new domain name registrations, and has been cash flow positive since October 2001 (not bad for a dot com). As of this writing, I continue to be the only investor in Go Daddy.

Throughout all of these life events, I came to accumulate a number of rules that I look to in various situations. Some of them I learned the hard way. Others I learned from the study of history. I know they work because I have applied them in both my business and personal life.

And one more thing.
I’ve read many times that original ideas are rare indeed. This is particularly true when it comes to the rules herein. I can’t imagine that any of my rules represent new ideas.

My contribution is that I’ve assembled these ideas, put them to work in my life, and can attest — that more often than not — they hold true.

While I put my 16 rules together in response to a business question, I’ve been told by others that they can be applied to almost any pursuit.

Here are the 16 rules I try to live by:

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone. I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone. I hear people say, “But I’m concerned about security.” My response to that is simple: “Security is for cadavers.”

2. Never give up. Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working, doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.

3. When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think. There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be. Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of “undefined consequences.” My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, “Well, Robert, if it doesn’t work, they can’t eat you.”

5. Focus on what you want to have happen. Remember that old saying, “As you think, so shall you be.”

6. Take things a day at a time. No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don’t look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward. Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide. Remember what General George S. Patton said: “A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”

9. Measure everything of significance. I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.

10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate. If you want to uncover problems you don’t know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven’t examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing. When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far

enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around. In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you’re doing as anyone else, provided that what you’re doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair. Life isn’t fair. You make your own breaks. You’ll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

14. Solve your own problems. You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”

15. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There’s always a reason to smile. Find it. After all, you’re really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time; we’re here for a good time.”

A special word of thanks.
I owe a special thanks to Brian Dunn. When I first wrote these rules down and was thinking about compiling them into a book — that book, like most books I suppose, has been half-done for a while :); — Brian read them and suggested a title. His suggestion was, “They Can’t Eat You.” I like Brian’s suggestion for two reasons: 1. It reminds me of my Dad. I sure miss him; and 2. It’s true. No matter how difficult things get, you’re going to be OK. It’s very important to realize that. Thanks, Brian.

“The above article is included with the permission of Bob Parsons (http://www.bobparsons.com) and is Copyright © 2004-2006 by Bob Parsons. All rights reserved.”

What is feminized behavior in a man? It’s often misunderstood to mean “feminINE” behavior but there’s a distinct difference. I’d define feminized behavior as “any thought, word or action implemented by a man in a style usually displayed only by a woman”. A deeper definition might be any behavior or thought process that has it’s ROOTS in feminine type motivation. Below is a list contributed by MaculineVirtues.com. Some common behaviors today are “aplogizing” for who we are as men, arguing or competing with our women, being needy, and compromising yourself to please others. So have a good laugh, don’t take yourself too seriously and light a cigar, grab a hustler, and let’s read!

You may be feminized if . . .
(collected wisdom from many men)
send us more

you think learning an arcane language just to order a damn cup of coffee is engaging
(auto parts, stereos, computers, are ok!)
your wife or your girlfriend ever said ‘whatever happened to the man I met??’
you think that you’re not feminized
you find yourself thinking ‘maybe she’s right’
you argue with your woman
you ‘win’ that argument
you struggle with decisions or other people
you ever said ‘I know this is politically incorrect but’
you feel you have to take someone on
you answer the phone every time it rings
you don’t have a place on this planet (a den, cave, sanctum sanctorum) that is absolute, inviolate, and your own, and she knows it and honors it
you want sex more than she wants it
you don’t trust your woman or she doesn’t trust you
you find this web site exasperating or disgusting
you feel that you understand women
you’re afraid of being taken advantage of
you have trouble listening
you do things that trouble you to please others
you have a chip on your shoulder about certain things
you think men should unite and stand up for their rights
you think you should discuss your feelings with your woman
you ever said ‘a real man would’
you find yourself defending yourself
your words say more than your actions
you reveal more by what you say than by what you don’t say
you answer yes/no questions with something other than yes or no
you live alone and have more than 1 bottle (unscented) in the shower
you live with a woman and have any bottles in the shower
you don’t cooperate with your woman
people wonder where you stand as a man
you try to ‘help’ a relationship
you need to buy cologne more than once every two years
your best friend is a woman
you blanch at the thought of cleaning a fish
you think men are violent
you think certain occupations or livelihoods are better than others
the work you do for money is a major part of your identity
you try to fix your woman’s problems or give her advice
you have guilt or shame you can’t do anything about
voice mail systems cut you off before you finish recording your message
you have only a few (or no) male friends
you can’t or won’t help people you don’t like
you feel uncomfortable eating in a parking lot
you spend 1 minute or more in front of the mirror exclusive of shaving in the morning
if you have a comb at all, it gets used more than twice a day
you socks always match
if you think ritalin should be used more widely
if you think your balls are all the masculine credentials you need or want
you experience very much doubt or indecision
you bust butt to save a few bucks - instead of just earning more
you always stifle belches and farts
you enjoy shopping rather than surgical mall strike missions
your negotiations in business are a zero sum game
you’d be unable to horse doctor a person or an animal to prevent worse injury
there is nothing you would die to protect, including 1 or 2 of your own ideals
you’re unable to live up to principles you try to hold others to
you try to give your woman what she says will make her happy
on important matters, you get advice from lots of people
you ignore advice that you paid for
you try to hold anyone other than yourself accountable
you have great, intimate conversations with women who you don’t intend to take home
you wonder what you should do if a woman is abusive to you
your own needs go unsatisfied because you are thinking of others
you feel you communicate well verbally with women
if you think women, more than men, are a force for good in our society
you recoil at the thought of being called a jerk
if you don’t know the difference between a fuel injector and a muzzle brake

Incidentally, there’s nothing wrong with feminized behavior. As men however, feminized behavior that we are unaware of hurts us and hurts those around us. It moves us away from our power. Choiceful feminine behavior can serve us - I heard a man once say that leadership is feminine, and after some thought, I agree. Feminine behavior out of unawareness or ignorance is way ‘unhelpful’ for a man.

Most men and most women have learned feminine roles thoroughly. Women do engage in a lot of masculine practices. Women don’t seem to have any problem integrating both roles without thought.

But men who don’t learn masculine behaviors thoroughly (and these are not taught in school) and who engage unthinking in feminine behavior are but pale shadows of who they could be as men. Current society and culture elevates feminine roles and values and deliberately diminishes masculine roles and values. Young people educated in today’s society are clueless about masculine behaviors. Boys must learn how to become men before they can start to become fully vitalized human beings.

This article posted by permission of author Ron Robinson from his website MaculineVirtues.com

If you’re anything like me, you stop and wonder every so often what your “job” is as a husband. How am I doing? Can I do more? Am I doing too much? Am I becoming too domesticated?? Again, if you’re “anything like me”, the ONLY way you know the answer to the question “how is my marriage doing?” is by asking HER! So what follows is a sort of a grocery list, or “to do” list of things to “do” in your marriage or long term relationship so that you know whether you’re doing your “job” or not. This list is based on the following assumptions and truths:

1. Men are action oriented and perform best when they have specific tasks that they can attach a “success or failure” or “yes or no” to.

2. Men have absolutely no relationships skills and therefore need a simple list to follow. This is not meant to be demeaning to us men, it’s just a truth that we are hard wired differently than women and “relationship skills” are not one of the things we’re wired FOR.

So here’s the list!

Be master of your territory
This is a twofold task. The first part is about having an area or place in your home that’s ONLY yours. It could be as simple as a drawer in your bureau but more than likely it will be the garage, a room in the basement, something like that. You make it clear that NO ONE is to enter it without your permission. Keep it exactly the way YOU want to keep it. It’s an extension of you where you can go and be yourself and NOT have to be socially acceptable, clean smelling, watch your language or be politically correct. The other benefit is that it’s a way to separate from the rest of the family when you need some down time, or “cave” time. Make sure you don’t do anything to “encourage” encroachment. Strange smells leaking uptstairs from your basement lair will encourage the woman of your dreams to sneak in and use some sweet smelling spray.

The second area of your territory is to know what you’re responsible for, and more importantly, what you’re NOT responsible for. This is all about trust and cooperation. Examples might be who brings home the bacon? Who pays the bills? Who decides what school junior goes to? If you’re married, you probably already have these mapped out, but maybe not consciously. Maybe you and your spouse are having repeated arguments about how long little sally has to stay in time out. Do we spank or not spank, things like that. It pays to know whose territory is whose, not only so you can master yours, but also stay out of hers! I am responsible for the lawn, income into the house, investments, both my businesses and my wife is in charge of household finances, ANY negotiations and our image in church and community. Often times, when we have disagreements, it’s in the area of one of us encroaching upon the other’s domain.

My advice to men is to be liberal about telling your wife what is NOT your territory, but be careful how much you verbally admit to. I always prefer to err on the side of caution when it comes to giving my wife anything to hold me accountable for. She’ll make up enough on her own! Again, not a sexist slam, just a reality. You do NOT want to give your woman any more than is absolutely necessary to hold you accountable for.

Give listening time
Give your woman 20-30 minutes of absolutely riveted attention each day. It can be at the beginning, middle or end of the day, or a few minutes here and there. Here’s a clue that you’re NOT doing this. “You NEVER listen to me!!”, or “What did I just say??” - If your wife is constantly complaining that you don’t listen, or testing to see if you ARE listening, guess what? You’re probably not listening! That’s the wonderful thing about wives. They WILL tell us exactly what they need if we learn to listen. Not what they WANT, but what they need! The benefit is always found by listening to the “action”. What are you telling your wife when you stop what you’re doing and make her the center of your attention? That she’s important to you and that what she’s saying is also important to you. Which leads us to …

Be keeper of her self esteem
Want a sure fire way of keeping your married life nice and calm and pleasant, as well as have a doting, happy wife? Only create self esteem building words and actions. A wife can ONLY love you as much as she loves her self AND she can only accept as much love from YOU as she has for herself. That’s a simple, absolute formula. When you begin to love her or show her more love than she has for herself, she’ll begin to subconsciously sabotage the relationship. By contributing only self esteem building words and actions to your wife’s life, you’ll enjoy the benefits as much, if not more, than her. One rule to keep in mind is that woman thrive on praise while men thrive on challenge. So different tactics are required, and often you can come up with some great ideas just by using that one simple rule. Here’s a classic; your wife has put on a few pounds and she’s lamented to you to encourage her. From a masculine standpoint you might “challenge” her like you would a friend, but that will only hurt her feelings and lower her self esteem. Using an angle like “Hey, those workouts are REALLY starting to pay off, honey” will work MUCH better than “Hey, put that twinkie down, you want to get as big as a house?!”

Cooperate without Selling Out
This is vitally important, but filled with nuances and traps. This is about cooperating and compromising on things that are unimportant to you while maintaining your “terms” as a man. Vacation plans, helping around the house while your wife is working extra hours, being nice to the in-laws. The key here is “what can I do to make my wife happy without handing over my balls?”

Let her know what’s going on without dumping the emotion
Since the sixties, the “sensitive man” has come to be a household name. This man, when telling his wife how his day went, likes to share his anger, his fears, his insecurities as well as his triumphs and kills. For the benefit of the third entity, I advise men to simply deliver a more cleaner, polished, “woman friendly” product. Take the emotion out of it. It is NOT a good idea to share the ENERGY of your feelings with your woman. She needs a rock, someone who’s the “same” no matter what’s going on. (don’t ask her if this is true, if she’s a modern woman, she’ll tell you it’s not and that she needs you to be expressive and in touch with your feelings. Don’t blame her, she doesn’t know any better!)
When you “go deep” with your feelings with your woman, it scares her a little. She can’t go that deep with you, and the BIG one … she will most likely take SOMETHING you say personally, which violates #3 (be keeper of her self esteem). In addition, when you dump negative emotions on her, you’re exposing your weaknesses and that’s just not a good practice in a male female committed relationship. That’s what your “men” are for. You DO, however, need to LET HER KNOW what’s going on with you. She is the “relationship manager” and she needs that information much like the CEO of a corporation needs to know how sales and profits are doing to make his decisions. Here’s an example of an emotional vs. “cleaned and polished” version.

My boss has REALLY been riding me, and I don’t know HOW much longer I can take it. Everybody else seems to get ahead at that office and this guy really has it out for me.
Here we have a little whining to start off with. (weakness when she needs a rock), you’re frightening her with the comment “I don’t know how much longer I can take it”. Translation: I might come home tomorrow and tell you we no longer have money coming into the house. Weakness. (I’m the only one who doesn’t get ahead, therefore I must be weaker than the rest).

Honey, if I seem a little on edge this week, it’s been a hard week, boss is giving me grief, deadlines and all that garbage. Not a problem, it’s not you, and it’ll all be better next week. I love you!
Here you’ve given her the tools she needs to “manage” your relationship. She’ll probably egg you on for a little more detail, but don’t give it to her. She’ll be grateful whether she admits it or not. You’ve shown her your strength by being able to deliver such news without “needing” any sympathy from her, you’ve assured her there’s nothing to worry about and that it’s “finite” (all be better next week).

Try this as a 30 day excercise. Let her know how things are going, say once a week or more if needed, and keep your insecurities, doubts, fear and anger out of it.

Give her great sex
Give your lady the best sex you can give. If you have a LOT of sex, at least take time on a regular basis to make it “world class” and all about her. (Yeah, I know, you ALWAYS give world class sex, me too! grunt, hoo-ah!) If you have it once a week, once a month, then ALWAYS make it your best. For men, it’s about getting laid. When we’re in a great mood, it’s about getting laid, when we’re feeling needy and insecure, it’s about getting laid, when it’s raining, hailing, sunny or mercury’s in retrograde, it’s about getting laid. (Isn’t it elegantly simple being a man?). For women, their self esteem is connected. Remember, women have relationship skills, so they’re using the quality of the sex as one more measure of the “status” of the relationship. Women subsconsciously know that you just want to get laid, so by making it all about “them”, they now subconsciously know that they are important enough to you to slow down and focus on them. I’m lucky in this respect in that it’s always given me more pleasure to pleasure my wife than to receive it. Something about seeing her … oh, hi honey, didn’t see you standing there!! Oh, nothing, just writing in my journal … uh, are you busy in a few minutes???

So slow down, learn to LOVE spending time pleasuring just HER - (I think you know what I’m talking about - it rhymes with beating pushy). Make it about loving her, showing her as much pleasure as you can stand.

Regularly do things to show her how much you love her.
This is alot of fun, but it can be daunting if you make it more complicated than you need to. Every so often, on a regular basis, do something outrageous that shows your woman that she is cared for, important and the love of your life. Again, this falls in line with women’s unconscious understanding that this is “hard” and “undesirable” activity for men. The fact that we got out of our own way and made it happen appeals to women on many levels.

1. They “get” that we love them and work hard to show them (great for self esteem)
2. They “get” that we’re multi dimensional and can get OUT of our comfort zone all by ourselves
3 They “get” that we’re just great guys!!

The possibilities are endless, but these are the things that go into the “relationship bank” of the “third entity” as deposits and make the relationship stronger and stronger. By doing these things on a regular basis, and “tracking” yourself, you can honestly and accurately know in any given moment how you’re “doing” in your relationship. If your relationship ends, and you KNOW you’ve done the above with any measure of excellence, you can rest assured that you’ve done your best.

I want to take this time and speak of a barrier that we all, as members of the human race share that hinders our forward movement toward becoming the next best version of who we are. This simple yet monstrous edifice is called “I already know that”. Some of it’s cousins? Oh, yeah, I already do that, used to know but had forgotten, OR even I WOULD do that but can’t because (fill in the blank).

The source of this reaction, context or “reflex” if you will is the need to be right, and it’s first cousin “the fear of looking bad or fear of rejection”. Every word that comes out in a social setting is one more opportunity for our percieved identity to be ripped down, piece by piece, until finally the “real us” stands there naked, scared and cold to be rejected by the masses as “ordinary” and “unloveable”.

Sound melodramatic? Maybe, but it’s pretty close to how we operate in our lives. Reflect on how you speak of others, especially after a social gathering like an office party, dinner out with your favorite couple, etc.

What we develop as a defense mechanism are tools such as “I already know that”. Meaning, I am as good as you, you cannot teach me anything, because if you did, that would mean I am “less” than you in some way. Ah, the ego’s glorious game! So the effect is that our mind becomes “closed”. We act like we listen, might even remember the “content” of the conversation for a few hours, but eventually our ego sweeps away the remains of the lesson like so much debris and the lesson is lost.

So I encourage you to spend 7 days being aware of, and gently refraining from, letting people know that you ALREADY KNOW THAT. It will be like writing with your left hand at first, I promise you. I already do the excercise on and off throughout the month and it’s a collosal effort. ESPECIALLY when I arleady DO KNOW that, and some pompous ass is lecturing me like a child!! Great excercise though and this is one of those “personal development” excercises that WILL YIELD results. Period, end of discussion. Please let me know how it goes!